ITS THE LAW

EVE System > Channel MOTD: Hello, one or more members of The Tuskers are prepared to destroy your vessel. Should you wish to pay a ransom to save your ship, please do the following immediately:
1. Turn off all modules (including guns, missile turrets, webbers, scrams, etc.) and recall all drones. Stop your ship.
2. From the time a ransom amount appears below, you will have 30 seconds to pay the amount specified. Right-click the picture of the pirate stating our demands and select "give money" to do this.
If you do not comply immediately, we will re-open fire on your vessel. If we get nervous for any reason we will re-open fire on your vessel.

Romeo Blakstorm > hi
Romeo Blakstorm > do you have the required paperwork ?
Romeo Blakstorm > we need to check if you have paid the mining tax
Romeo Blakstorm > hello Drecdar?
Drecdar > well Im completly new to this game so I have no idea
Romeo Blakstorm > ok bare with me
Romeo Blakstorm > did you speak to Sheriff Jolo about mining in Hevrice?
Drecdar > no
Romeo Blakstorm > oh -- well you need to pay us 2 million isk and we let you go home safe
Drecdar > I do not have that kind of money, and I didn't mine anything
Romeo Blakstorm > these are Heritage asteroids - protected by law.
Romeo Blakstorm > well .....
Drecdar > I wasn't aware of that.
Romeo Blakstorm > I'm afraid we have to uphold the law in this instance
Drecdar > I see
Romeo Blakstorm > next time please have the documents handy and we don't need to be so strict
Drecdar > Of course, thank you sir

EVE System > Drecdar was kicked from the channel by Romeo Blakstorm. Effective until 2009.12.29 02:15:32, Reason: "No mining tax payment ".

Jin EnTonik > worries me when they're that polite....

Meat Gangbang Extravaganza

The gimmick only lasted a few months before he split from Terri after Terri saw Meat kissing Marianna, Terri's nemesis, on the Titantron. This led to her and Chaz attacking Meat. In the next couple of weeks Meat reverted to using his real name.
He had a brief feud early fall of 1999. That is how Angle defeated Stasiak in his in-ring debut.

Nothing Lasts Forever

Luck is a fickle mistress. Despite all the precautions I mentioned in my last post I knew my luck would run out eventually. When I wrote that post I had hoped it would be later rather than sooner but things don't always turn out as one hopes. Earlier this evening (or morning depending where you live) my beloved jag was atomized by a rather tricky hurricane. It was pretty clear he was waiting for just such an occasion. He was hanging around some belts, clearly enticing the arrayed fleet to come and get him.

Unfortunately I offered to make the tackle, playing right into his hands. His 'cane fit neuted and webbed me, which is pretty normal, to the extent that I could not gain range by the time I was completely capped. Struggling to gain transversal I popped just as the cavalry arrived.

Farewell noble beast, I will never forget you.

Lucky Bastard

I just knocked on wood, picked a four leaf clover and killed a rabbit for its foot. Been a hell of a ride and its only getting better.

Old man star can be a lot of fun. There are plenty of ships around to shoot at and be shot by and of course the inevitable question of who's baiting whom. After some initial successes it was put forth that we try oms with our frigate heavy gang. What the hell, I thought. Why not? I can't fly the same ship forever.

The gang found a few ships initially. Surprisingly there were two dramiels. We happened upon them several times but couldn't engage them as their pilots skillfully kept more than 20km away and at extreme speed.

There were a few ganks as well, nothing really worth mentioning. Someone spotted a ship inside the faction war mission that had sprung up. After an initial failed tackle we set a bait at the complex.

As anyone knows once you set a bait in old man star you can expect something to come and bite. In this case the something came in the form of a hurricane and vagabond. This combination proved lethal to our frigates and eventually the bait itself, which happened to be the largest ship we had brought.

Somehow I managed to burn out to 20km from the cane and vaga with my afterburner and warp out with around 1/4 shield remaining. My guess is they were preoccupied eating the bait.
Dodged that bullet.

Then today whilst scouting out some lowsec systems I had an unfortunate run in with a crow at a gate camp. He pointed me before I could warp and I was forced to burn back to the gate and escape the massive gank squad in structure.

Rarrrr!

<3

'A Whaling We Shall Go'

I find it difficult to fully appreciate the irony of naming an orca "Free Willie". What a terrible movie. Future generations will trace the decline of western civilization to it's release. It should come as no surprise that only a truly deranged or idiotic individual would name his ship such.

However, it takes a truly special mind to blindly fly that same orca through lowsec. Looking back its hard for me to say whether our victim was simply mind-bending-ly daft or harbored more bizarre motivations. I believe its safe to say we did as he asked and freed willie from its mortal coil.

Glory goes to Egret for the smack down.

Suddenly Tuskers

Ninjapirate hybrids? Quantum death rays?

Best to get it in check, holmes.

Get it in check. Yarr?

Good

It seems the madness of constantly resetting my glitchy cache is over. CCP fixed the error (according to them) with this last patch.

Hurrah!

Glitches Suck

The other day I was flying back from Jita and messing with my people/places menu when the game crashed. When I started it back up my character would not load and instead the progress bar taunted me from the finished position but never fully loaded.

After informing ccp, who evidently know about this issue, I followed their recommendation and reset the games cache. Now I could at least load the character but with all my overview settings changed to default. I kept the original settings backed up but who knows if I can ever use them again. For now everything is new and in a way that's refreshing.

Sort of.

GODDAMM!

Oh it was all too obvious what was going on. Somehow I didn't care.

I was out on an errand in Oulletta and had just undocked from station to see a little flashy red friend targeting me. Outlaw: check. Punisher: check. No doubt this pilot was far older than me but I've been feeling more confident with my abilities behind a rifter. What the hell, I can take this guy.

So we begin the doom spiral that is frigate combat. Immediately I begin flying away from him in a tight arc. My shields are dipping and his web is not helping my situation. Slowly I gain range on the punisher, autocannons blasting away the whole time, melting his armor. At around 8km I am not longer taking damage and the kiting process is complete. He dips under 50% armor.

At about this time I notice two more flashy playmates appear on the overview.

Crap.

Still blasting the punisher I'm now frantically trying to align although it would make no difference. The wolf and stabber fleet that just arrived finish the punishers work, vaporizing me in a matter of seconds. Somehow my pod does not warp despite my spamming and that goes too in another instant. Oh well.

I suppose I should give mine enemies props for a trap well sprung but all I really want is that punisher. They could get me afterward but that kill would be sweet.

The Evidence

Tracking Enhancers!

Sometimes an engagement at range can be frustrating because it gives your opponent the opportunity to escape before you can point them. Luckily thespore was looking for a fight.

Tooling around in Adirain today I happened upon another rifter pilot. After some scanner foreplay I warped to the belt nearest to him. Moments later he warped in near the center of the asteroids, about 60km from me. I began kiting him.

With the recent changes to tracking enhancers they become extremely useful for ranged combat. Thespore and I had relatively conventional rifters: his the armor buffer variety and mine the shield buffer.

What threw the fight for him was my tracking enhancer. Through some careful manual kiting I managed to totally reduce his shields before he could catch up to me. Once he got into web range the enhancer helped track him as he orbited my webbed ship.

When he popped I was a little under 50% shield. Not bad at all.

Killmail

Dominion: First Thoughts

1. Really glad I invested in faction ships.

2. Still miffed AF's get no afterburner bonus (someday).

3. Minmatar are awesome.

4. Sparklies!

5. Might be a good time to raid nullsec?
______________________________________

 That is all.

Edward Teach: a.k.a. Blackbeard the Pirate

Blackbeard is often regarded as the archetypal image of the seafaring pirate. He often fought, or simply has been shown, wearing a big feathered tricorn, and having multiple swords, knives, and pistols at his disposal. It was reported that, during battle, he wore lit matches woven into his enormous black beard to intimidate his enemies.

He would plunder merchant ships, forcing them to allow his crew to board their ship. The pirates would then seize all of the valuables, food, liquor, and weapons. Despite his ferocious reputation, there are no verified accounts of him actually killing anyone. He deliberately cultivated his barbaric reputation, and so could prevail by terror alone. It was far more profitable to plunder without a fight at all.

Blackbeard's chief claim to fame is his blockade of Charleston, South Carolina. In approximately late May 1718, Blackbeard entered the mouth of Charleston harbour with the Queen Anne's Revenge and three lighter vessels. He plundered five merchant freighters attempting to enter or leave the port. No other vessels could transit the harbour for fear of encountering the pirate squadron.

Aboard one of the ships that Blackbeard captured in the harbor mouth was a group of prominent Charleston citizens, including Samuel Wragg. Blackbeard held these hostages for ransom, making an unusual demand: a chest of medicine. He sent a deputation ashore to negotiate this ransom.

Due partly to his envoys' preference for carousing rather than bargaining, the ransom took some days to be delivered, and Blackbeard evidently came close to murdering his prisoners. Eventually, the medicines were turned over, and Blackbeard released the hostages, without their clothing, but otherwise unharmed. Blackbeard's whole squadron then escaped northward.

This man is sad.

Having accepted a pardon, Teach had apparently retired from piracy. Nevertheless, Governor Alexander Spotswood of Virginia became concerned that the notorious freebooter lived nearby. Spotswood decided to eliminate Blackbeard, even though he lived outside of Spotswood's jurisdiction, and offered a reward for his head.

When they came upon Blackbeard's Adventure, they were hit with a devastating broadside attack. Midshipman Hyde, captain of the smaller Jane, was killed along with six other men. Ten men were also wounded in the surprise attack. The sloop fell astern and was little help in the following action. Maynard continued his pursuit in Ranger, managing to blast the Adventure's rigging, forcing it ashore. Maynard ordered many of his crew into the holds and readied to be boarded. As his ship approached, Blackbeard saw the mostly empty decks, assumed it was safe to board, and did so with ten men. Blackbeard's assault was preceded by several grenades made by filling rum bottles with gunpowder. Broken glass swept the deck and gunpowder smoke obscured Maynard's view of Blackbeard's boarders.

Despite the best efforts of the pirates (including a desperate plan to blow up the Adventure), Teach was killed, and the battle ended. Teach was reportedly shot five times and stabbed more than twenty times before he died and was decapitated. Legends about his death immediately sprang up, including the oft-repeated claim that Teach's headless body, after being thrown overboard, swam between 2 and 7 times around the Adventure before sinking.

Teach's head was placed as a trophy on the bowsprit of the ship (it was also required by Maynard to claim his prize when he returned home). Despite the sheer terror of the battle with the pirates and the wounds that the crew received, Maynard received only a meagre prize of £100 from Spotswood.

(Source)

OMG SO SWEXY

I just couldn't help myself. Granted, I won't be flying it for awhile but its gonna be a mean son-of-a-bitch when I finally do.

So how to fit this little beast? When Dominion comes the firetail will be significantly boosted and become a mixture of wolf and jaguar, albeit an expensive one at around 35mil.

It is still very fast, despite losing its speed bonus in favor of damage, and outperforms the Wolf and Jaguar with 410m/s base speed. Its new bonus and slot layout have made me quite happy: 20% Projectile damage per lvl minny frig and 3-4-3 slots allowing for a shield tank and tackle. The changes put the firetail's dps around the level of a Jaguar.

The changes make this ship incredibly flexible like the Jaguar. You have the option to sport a mwd and artillery/missile with some ewar (tracking disruptor or sensor damp would both be good options) or Autocannons and a utility high (nos, neut, rocketlauncher). With the short ranged firetail you have a choice between shield or armor tank, with armor allowing extra tackle/ewar/cap options and shield giving you the speed and gankiness of gyro's and (the new) awesomeness of tracking enhancers. With the ranged version shield tank is preferable to keep you nimble and allow for maximum gank.

From my above hypotheses I see this firetail fulfilling essentially the same roles as a Jaguar. It lacks the higher resists of an Assault Ship but compensates with significantly greater speed and damage. For a slightly higher price tag the Firetail gives slightly better performance.

Also it looks fuckin' amazing.

(Source)

Henry Morgan: Pirate King

Continuing my retrospective of pirate history I bring you a chapter from the life of one of histories most illustrious and notorious pirates, Captain Henry Morgan.

Buccaneer and pirate, admiral and general, country gentleman and planter, custos and judge of the court of Vice-Admiralty, governor and knight ­ all are titles held by Morgan during his colourful lifetime.

Jamaica in the second half of the 17th century was a pirate haven. Known for plunder and trade, the island's port town of Port Royal (aptly located at the entry to Kingston Harbour) was home to many of these "brethren of the coast".
It was at that time that one pirate in particular rose to prominence ­ the Welshman, Henry Morgan. Famed for his exploits on what was known as the Spanish Main (today called South America) Morgan seemed larger than life. Although accounts place him as being of average height and build, there was nothing average about his leadership abilities or his charisma, however.

It is not surprising that history regards him as a pirate king, referring to him as the greatest buccaneer of them all (although most likely forerunners of the pirates, the two terms are used somewhat interchangeably).

According to noted Jamaican historian, Clinton Black, Morgan was "more than a buccaneer captain. The same man who could swear and curse and drink and whore with the best of them in many a den of murder, or lead a bunch of desperadoes for miles through hostile jungles and fever-ridden swamps...was also to prove an astute politician with a breadth of vision far, far beyond that of the men he drew to him with his rare magnetism".

If you'd like to learn more about this badass mofo check out the link:
Source

I always liked him

Spectre in his awkward years.

Spectre's Blog

Buccaneer Lifestyle

A bit of historical background on "Buccaneers":

A hundred years before the French Revolution, the buccaneer companies were run on lines in which liberty, equality and fraternity were the rule, although only for white members of the crew
(for shame!). In a buccaneer ship, the captain was elected and could be deposed by the votes of the crew. The crew, and not the captain, decided the destination of each voyage and whether to attack a particular ship. The buccaneers' democratic model was adopted by many later pirate crews.

Spoils were evenly divided into shares; the captain received an agreed amount for the ship, plus a portion of the share of the prize money, usually five or six shares. Crews generally had no regular wages, being paid only from their shares of the plunder, a system called "no purchase, no pay" by Modyford or "no prey, no pay" by Exquemelin. There was a strong esprit de corps among buccaneers. This, combined with overwhelming numbers, allowed them to win sea battles and shore raids. There was also, for some time, a social insurance system guaranteeing compensation for battle wounds at a worked-out scale.

(Source)

Tuskers...

...every last one of them.

Well they gave us everything for bending the mind
And we cleaned out their pockets and we drank ’em blind
It’s a long way to the finish so don’t get left behind
By those horsemen

- The Clash

(Source)

How about a snack?

Would you like yours rare or well done?

Ingredients

* 3 carrots, peeled and cut into thirds
* 3 ribs celery, peeled and cut into thirds
* 3 onions, peeled and cut into quarters
* 1 (3 1/2 to 4 pound) baby, rinsed and patted dry
* 1 1/2 tablespoons salt
* 2 teaspoons cracked white pepper
* 1 lemon, halved
* 2 fresh bay leaves
* 6 cloves garlic, roughly chopped
* 4 sprigs rosemary, roughly chopped, plus 1 tablespoon for gravy
* 2 tablespoons olive oil
* 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
* 1 cup chicken stock
* 2 tablespoons roasted garlic
* 1 cup dry white wine

Directions

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F.

In a 9 by 13-inch roasting pan, add the carrots, celery and onions. Season the baby both inside and out with the salt and white pepper. Squeeze the lemon halves over the baby and place the rinds inside the cavity. Place the bay leaves inside the cavity. In a small bowl, combine the garlic, rosemary, olive oil and butter. Rub the baby both inside and out with the garlic rosemary blend and place in the roasting pan.

Place the pan in the oven and roast the baby for 40 to 50 minutes, or until the juices run clear. To test this, insert a thermometer in the thickest part of a leg. It should register at 160 degrees internal temperature. Remove the baby from the oven and allow to cool for 10 to 15 minutes before carving.

Pour off excess fat from pan and return to heat. Whisk in baby stock, roasted garlic, white wine and chopped rosemary, scraping up the bits on the bottom of pan. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. Reduce gravy by half, until thickened.

Serve baby with gravy on the side.

(Edit: substitute baby for chicken: recipe).

This guy I killed

Reaching back to my time in Curse of the Nazghorn I present you with Ryddic, a rather unctuous interceptor pilot(?):

Bourreau > yes?
Ryddic > you no give me 40 milion
Bourreau > hahaha
Ryddic > cost for me interceptor
Ryddic > my alleans
Ryddic > declar war vs your corp
Ryddic > XD
Ryddic > ahaha???
Ryddic > wath??
Ryddic > i is ceo for me alleans
Ryddic > ahahah no vs me
Ryddic > you win
Ryddic > good
Ryddic > give me 40 milion
Ryddic > o 24 hours and your corp is deads
Bourreau > wars are cool
Ryddic > 40 no
Ryddic > 30
Ryddic > sorry no 40 30 milion
Ryddic > fast
Bourreau > lol
Bourreau > go ahead
Ryddic > lol???
Bourreau > we like wars
Ryddic > but is noob o idiot
Ryddic > mother focker
Ryddic > fast give me 30 milion o declar wars vs you

Still waiting for that war declaration...Did I mention hes Italian?

(Also, apologies to everyone I hot linked in there...:\)
____________________________________________________

I'll end this post with a joke you've probably heard:

Q. Why does the new Italian Navy use glass bottomed boats?
A. So they can steer clear of the old Italian Navy.

Pirate Food Pyramid

I think its pretty self explanatory.

Plundering of the Astarte

The autumn space breeze howled through the rigging of the pirate sloop One-Armed Shoemaker. On deck the crew raced furiously to adjust sails under the tyrannical bellowing of their unpleasantly bald-headed captain (who I heard smells terrible).

A second pirate sloop commanded by captain Kelshall bore alongside the Shoemaker as it sliced through the vacuum waves toward their mutual quarry. Just beyond them lay the prize they sought; a heavily armed Astarte warship.

Though the massive command ship outclassed the small vessels they did not slow their approach. The two sloops were merely the advance element of a larger pirate fleet and their purpose was singular: pin down the prey until the bulk of the fleet arrived to finish the job.

As the cutthroats pulled alongside they launched their tackle hooks into the Astarte’s mammoth gunwales and lit it up with 150mm Autocannons and nuclear warhead tipped rocket propelled grenades. Amazingly the huge vessel held firm under their terrible onslaught?

The Astarte’s own weapon systems activated but its long-range cannon were ineffective against the vastly more maneuverable sloops. As the behemoth angrily spun the remainder of the pirate fleet arrived and promptly delivered napalm death unto its pitiful seaman.

Although pirates are known for their discretion in ransoming a defeated foe they were content to watch this vessel burn. Much to their surprise a ‘Meditation’ medium armor repairer, whatever that is, was hoisted from the smoking wreck. This set the mates to rejoicing and much rum was consumed in celebration. To the west the setting sun slipped over the horizon.

Thus began another night of piracy on the high…space…seas.

The Prize

The Truth...

As you can see I've got Spectre's back mhmmm.

The Pony Lover Himself

It begins

That's right, I'm starting my own blog!

What a wonderful idea you must be saying to yourself. Why thank you, I feel the same way. You can look forward to all sorts of relevant and totally irrelevant stories/info/pornography/geography so come check me out. Chances are you can catch a hot bear ass or two.

Rarrrr.

Boo ya, first post beotches, get it while its hot.